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Archive for the ‘Joke’ Category

Performance Enhancing Drugs For Jamaicans – too bad we can’t get rich off it

Posted by Dresonic on August 14, 2008

 

yellow-yam NEWS FLASH!! — China customs sieze package that was intended for the Jamaican Olympic team!!
A 200 kilo shipment of suspected PED’s (Performance Enhancing Drugs) addressed to the Jamaican track team at the Olympic Village in Beijing, was siezed by authorites at the Wong Hung Lo docks early this morning. Coming on the heels of the disclosure that a member of the Jamaican team has tested positive for a banned substance, the news has rocked the Jamaica Amateur Athletic Association (JAAA) and cast an even greater shadow over the team’s preparations for the 2008 Olympic Games.
Speaking on condition of anonymity, a senior customs inspector told Reuters that suspicions were aroused by the bulky and lumpy shipment which was wrapped in rough, dirty burlap. Stenciled in bold letters on the bag, was the address of the Jamaican team at the Village and also the words:
DELIVER TO ASAFA, USAIN, VERONICA and the other Jamaican sprinters … DEM CYAAN RUN GOOD WITHOUT IT.
Upon opening the package, dozens and dozens of a dirty, tubular product were discovered and immediately sent to the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) lab in Beijing for testing. Chinese customs are certain that they have intercepted a shipment of pure, unprocessed steroids, and have put the IAAF and the JAAA on notice that severe action will be taken as soon as WADA confirms their findings.
The picture below is of one of the mystery tubular ‘products’ from the shipment that was taken to the lab for testing.

Jamaican Yellow Yam (from Trelawny … Bolt country)

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Posted in Asafa Powell, Comedy, Dresonic Stories, Entertainment, Food, Health, IAAF, International, Jamaica, Joke, Olympics 2008, Sherone Simpson, Sports, Sports News, Track&Field, Usain Bolt, Veronica Campbell, Western Jamaica | 7 Comments »

PIECE OF THE DAY -Inna di bus- Written By Yanique

Posted by Dresonic on May 14, 2007

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For all those of you who are not from Jamaica/ the Caribbean, the title simple means ‘In the bus.’ This is a topic that I’ve always stewed in my mind and now I’m just venting.

The public transportation system here in Jamaica is a joke, especially if you live in the Kingston region and you have to take the bus to school in the mornings. Unfortunatley, I was subjected to the horrible experience yesterday AND this morning also.

First of all I must say that the bus system does serve to be of some historical use as now almost more than 80% of Jamaicans have had glimpses of what it was like when the slaves were packed like sardines in ships to cross the Atlantic to the Americas. So we now have one more thing in common with our ancestors. If the bus capacity is 40, I can assure you that here in Ja that bus would fit at least 150. Ok ok, maybe I exaggerated. It might fit 100. You become intimately close to the person next to you, behind you and infront of you. You and your neighbours become one. It seems as though our national motto takes on a literal meaning…”Out of many, one people.” Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Comedy, Jamaica, Joke, Kingston, Life, Lifestyle, Poems | 2 Comments »

TIGER VS ZEBRA

Posted by Dresonic on April 26, 2007

A very creative production by Youtube user MadWhiteJamaican…

Posted in Comedy, Jamaica, Joke, Music | Comments Off on TIGER VS ZEBRA

The Official Winner of the “Not My Job” Contest

Posted by Dresonic on April 22, 2007

Posted in Comedy, Entertainment, Funny, Joke | 2 Comments »

Interview with an LA Medical Marijuana Cardholder

Posted by Dresonic on January 23, 2007

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What is the best/worst thing about having a medical marijuana card? “The best thing is always having the best weed. The worst thing is spending all my money on always having the best weed.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Health, Joke, LA, Marijuana, Medical, USA | 30 Comments »